J and I were totally completely honest about our pasts (at least I thought so). He charmed and won over everyone he met, including me. We moved in together officially after 5 months of dating, were engaged after 6, and married almost exactly one year after our first date.I knew from day one about his struggle with alcohol and drugs but he had just gotten his 4 year sobriety chip and attended weekly AA meetings with his sponsor. He would leave flowers on my doorstep, pick me up from work (even though I lived only a few blocks away), take me out all the time. Our first year of marriage brought a lot of ups and downs; J lost his job, we lost our dog, we moved cities after I was accepted into medical school, J got a new job (that he loved), we adopted a new dog, and things were starting to really come together by those last couple months.Then 2 weeks ago, I came into the bedroom after a long evening of studying.J was on his i Phone (the thing was GLUED to his hand at all times) and I noticed he quickly turned off the screen. And there was NO reason for me to suspect anything at all.How could something so perfect be so horribly f*cked up?After multiple phone calls to the school counselor and even the dean, I decided to return and try to go back to school.But for some reason, the next morning I went into his email account.I had NEVER done this before, but something in my gut was telling me that I was about to find something horrible. of searching through his sent emails to find various emails to people I didn’t recognize. He kept reassuring me that it was nothing and I should just drop it. But the next morning, I woke up early with the same feeling in my gut.
We will be adding more to the archives in coming months, so stay tuned! He got me appointments to get bloodwork done and also encouraged me to take some time away from school to process.I went to my parent’s house and cried, puked, and cried some more.For months, we talked and flirted and eventually he asked me out.I was a couple years out of an 8 year relationship and had finally gained all my confidence and independence back.
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